“Any successful effort that goes toward improving the frequency and quality of emotional contact
with the extended family, will predictably improve the family’s level of adjustment and reduce
symptoms in the nuclear family.” (Murray Bowen, Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, 537-538)
One of Murray Bowen’s most significant contributions was his recognition of the universal opposing life forces of togetherness and individuality. Birth and early infancy may be the time these forces operate
more closely to the hypothetical optimum 50-50 balance than at any other point along the lifespan.
In my 20+ years as a practicing family therapist I’ve grown accustomed to clients telling me about their “narcissistic father,” “bipolar mother” or “Asperger’s brother.” It’s a diagnosis paradox.
Shawna feels stuck between her mother and her younger sister. Mother complains about sister’s rude behavior, lack of motivation, and marijuana use. Sister vents about mother, calling her a “nag” and “controlling.” Shawna feels sorry for her mother and thinks her role is to provide support in an abusive situation. Even so, she tends to listen passively to her sister’s grievances rather than risk setting her off.
School shootings. Pandemic. Inflation. Toxic politics. Environmental collapse. Democracy on the brink.
Fake news and conspiracy theories. Racism and homophobia. Resulting in family rifts. There are valuable tools missing from the pop culture self-help toolbox.
